The Movie Empress

Final notes -- only 32 minutes over, mainly crisp, no Cameron, some great dresses and a perhaps disappointing shortage of horrid ones (at least on stage), I liked the hosts (both of them!). And NPH.

In fact, perhaps the greatest compliment to the evening is that the Empress' mother (The Grand Empress) actually stayed up and watched the entire show which has not happened in.... possibly forever.

Thank you for playing, and good night!

Finaly tally -- I got 18 out of 24 which is FAR more respectable than any year previously. I will not reveal my sources. (Entertainment Weekly, mainly.)

And, very best of all, I was saved from James Cameron in all three of the categories in which he might have taken the stage.

I bet they wouldn't have played "I Am Woman" if any of the other nominees would have won. What do you think they would have played for Lee Daniels?

And K. Bigelow can dress herself nicely, too.

I am just so delighted to see Kathryn Bigelow win. What a milestone, and look what it saved us from tonight.

In all seriousness, I hope this sort of nomination and win may become much more commonplace.

You know that Babs is still pissed they didn't nominate her for The Prince of Tides.

It's not how I would have voted, but I do really, really like Sandra Bullock. And I like what she said about the moms who take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from.

I don't know how she can make me tear right up and cackle raucously in the same speech.

And she can make that muscle man of hers cry.

Oh, Sean. You're a putz, you are completely inarticulate if you're not reading a script, and what kind of a weird political stance is it to refuse to join a body in which you could actually have some influence over the things that bother you if you got yourself on some committees? You're just one of those guys who likes to stay on the outside so you can agitate and say you're misunderstood.

Sign of a good marriage -- Don Gummer is absolutely unimpressed that he's married to a legend. And the legend isn't real impressed herself. :-)

Peter Skarsgaard will never cease to be creepy. A large part of this is Boys Don't Cry. But some of it is just his voice.

I'd so much rather see the same kind of scenes they showed for the supporting nominees.

And I love Oprah's dress.

Another lovely speech by Jeff Bridges, and I particularly liked how much he made it clear that he had adored his parents.

And his wife was wearing some gorgeous turquoise and diamond jewelry.

Mr. and Mrs. Bridges certainly seem to have a lovely marriage.

These broadcasts have a long history of men-in-the-same-bed jokes. And as much as I enjoyed Martin and Baldwin flopping about, I liked it best when Jon Stewart woke up in the same bed with George Clooney.

Clooney said in an interview that he picks his cuticles. And I see that he does.

I know it means a lot to the nominees. But it is just such a killer at the end of a long broadcast to present the nominees this way.

I also always love how Kathy Bates looks. You won't catch her in a one-armed dress or with a giant bow around her neck.

I need to share here that Fisher Stevens is the actor who said delivered one of my favorite punchlines ever. In Short Circuit, when Steve Guttenberg asks what you get if the robot goes out and melts down a busload of nuns. And Fisher Stevens (playing an Indian in those un-pc days) says, "Nun soup?"

From this to dolphins.

I liked that. "The world we live in is just as amazing as the world we created for you."

Best score winner looks like a combination of Colin Firth and Jon Favreau. Who knew it could be done?

I appreciate George Clooney waving the camera away.

Talented dancers in a number that is stopping.the.show.in.its.tracks.

This is not in the same league as Neil Patrick Harris at all.

Very tastefully done. And they muted the audience so we can't tell who won the applause-o-meter.

I am tired of bandage dresses. I am tired of dresses that are too close to a person's skin tone. I am tired of Demi Moore. I do, however, always love James Taylor.

Only 8 left to go, folks.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say Sandra Bullock's dress is the best of the evening.

Apparently Elizabeth Banks was in E.T. I think I love her dress, except I'm not sure about the area just under the armpits. And I love her diamond hair band.

It is just a beautiful thing to see a winner's spouse, partner, or family be so moved and excited on their behalf.

That color just washes Anna Kendrick right out. The same dress in, say, a deep purple or even a navy (like she wore so much of in Up in the Air) would be gorgeous.

I really, really, really don't like horror movies. Really.

While I love Kristen Stewart's dress (a nice change) I do not believe she has ever experienced a change of vocal inflection in her life.

Charlize Theron either hits it or she drops it. This was a drop. Giant appliques around the boops.

I LOVE it, LOVE it when the costume designers come in costume. Although none has topped the credit card dress that Lizzie Gardiner wore.

SJP needed a swipe with a hairsprayed brush.

Keanu Reeves is ORANGE. I mean, bright, firelit ORANGE. And doesn't get the clothes whores joke.

I'm sorry Jim. You're not allowed to go up there for them.

Okay, only people who can make single-shouldered dresses look as beautiful as Sigourney Weaver does are allowed to wear them anymore.

Also, Mo'Nique didn't seem to go for false modesty, which pleased me.

I will admit that it seems Mo'Nique seems to have turned in a breathtaking performance. And WAY TO GO with the Hattie McDaniel shout-out.

Sigh. Another tired old balls joke.

I'm sure Lauren Bacall resents not being in the front row.

Queen Latifah is always one of the most consistently beautiful and beautifully dressed actresses on the red carpet.

Geoffrey's Fletcher's genuine emotion was so touching. And Steve Martin's ad-lib was pretty entertaining.

Loooove me some big pretty flowy ball gowns like Rachel McAdams.

(Laura, just for you -- make that "The McAdams."

They could have let everyone they played off or didn't let speak and everyone they will play off and won't let speak have their time instead of all that nonsense from Ben Stiller. The joke would have worked without any verbiage or playing with his constume.

And as always (and I mean ALWAYS) they use Ben Stiller to prove my point that winners are played off stage so there can be stupid bits.

I enjoy the educational segments that are done with sincerity, like this piece on short films.

I like BOTH of the dresses here (Mulligan and Saldana -- especially the later), and they were very cute walking their pretty legs down the steps in sync.

Very nice tribute to John Hughes, and it makes me want to break out some dvds.