The Movie Empress

Tally Ho

Golden Globes Score: 13 right, 12 wrong

Truly terrible, but then, most of the wrong ones were in tv, so The MOVIE Empress shall not sulk.

drama - The Departed
Helen Mirren - The Queen
Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland
comedy/musical - Dreamgirls
Meryl Streep - The Devil Wears Prada
Sacha Cohen - Borat
Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls
Eddie Murphy - Dreamgirls
animated - Cars
foreign language - Volver
Martin Scorsese - The Departed
screenplay - Babel
score - Babel
song - Dreamgirls
tv drama - 24
Edie Falco - The Sopranos
Kiefer Sutherland- 24
Ugly Betty
America Ferrera - Ugly Betty
Steve Carell - The Office
Elizabeth I
Helen Mirren - Elizabeth I
Michael Ealy - Sleeper Cell
Katherine Heigl - Grey's Anatomy
Jeremy Piven - Entourage

/snark

There's something to be said for not having a host. It makes the show shorter. Now we'll hold out for the SAG Awards, where there are no troublesome music or directorial awards. Good night!

Would the HFPA storm the stage and take Arnold down?

The Governor just called them the "Gordon Globes."

Ah, yes. Another culturally relevant, ethnically sensitive, multiple-storylined picture wins. Unless, of course, Arnold actually said Bobby and it was just obscured by his accent. Now that would be interesting.

An absence of horrid fashion on which to comment.

It's amazing to think that the same guy wrote both The Queen and The Last King of Scotland.

And Forrest Whitaker seemed totally floored.

And now she has matching orbs!

Courtney Cox nee Cox-Arquette nee Cox is wearing another yucky brown dress.

How I love Grey's Anatomy.  And Chandra Wilson can rock that red carpet garb.   As can Sara Ramirez.

Please, PSH.  Shave the 'stache.  And wash your hair. 

And the dress is, thankfully, fixed. 

Oh, that's Stephen Frears.  Not Tom Sizemore.  Or an unfortunately pointy-haired Robert De Niro.

Oh. There's the band.

The Royal Consort suggests that J.Lo is wearing a garment from the Apocalypto collection.

Oh, a best picture award winner can't finish his speech, but S.B. Cohen gets to revel in rectal humor ad nauseum?

shut up now, please

What IS this?  Barbie Doll Reese?

Please, most merciful diety, may this be the last I'm required to see of Borat.   Please, please, please do not let him make benefit of glorious Oscars.   I will say, however, that the Brits can even make the phrase "anus and testicals" sound elegant. 

Although I'm starting to long for Warren Beatty again.   Where is the band when you need it?

Really, it's harder out there for a ho.

Now that Warren Beatty has stopped talking and I have awoken, I can observe that Will Ferrell's hair might be scarier than Sienna Miller's. 

I always feel that Dustin Hoffman has a little stash of grass in his pocket and tokes up every time he's off camera.

I'm sure Martin Scorcese is delighted.  He must have been terrified that Three Six Mafia was going to win again.

Either the color needs adjusting or everyone is spray painted orange.

People are clapping for Warren Beatty's balls.  In a minute, Clint Eastwood is going to get up and sing "I Talk to the Trees," and they're going to have to cart me off to the hospital. 

I was wondering if they were going to mention his pre-Bening love life.  Frankly, I think that was more impressive than his performances. 

Sienna Miller's hair would look great with J. Love's dress.

Thank the lord, Drew IS wearing a bra.  And a carefully structured bodice to boot.

I am so tired of the "casually messy hair" on formal occasions.  Get it DONE, ladies.  It is not good when Prince is more carefully coiffed and has on more visible eye makeup than you do.  (And Hugh Grant, stop being so cocky about your French pronunciation skills and brush your damn hair already.)

Oh, Jennifer Love Hewitt.  Just as I was thinking that I was tired of the white goddess dresses everyone seems to be wearing, you trotted out in that bronze monstrosity and made me rethink my criticism. 

America Ferrara isn't ugly at all.  But a ruched midriff and little hip flaps are not a girl's best friend.  Still, you brought your mommy and you're very sincere, so I forgive you for your horrid show.